so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
