i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
