thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
