Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
