the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
