this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
