thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
