Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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