My brain says no but my pants say off.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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