As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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