Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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