i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
