pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
