If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm passing your future prison.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
