What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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