She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize
