so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
