Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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