: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
