He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she peed on how many people?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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