I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
