Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
