do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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