then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
