I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I love you. Go after that dick
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
