Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
