I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
