Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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