I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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