I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
smell my finger.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
