She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Randomize
