i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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