I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
