better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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