evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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