Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
