better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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