i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
