Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
