So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
