Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
