I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
