everyone is single if you try hard enough
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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