If that was your dad, he is hot
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
