There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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