make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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