If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
