'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
