out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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