You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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