smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
