So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
