Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
