Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
